E61 – Bonded Through Recovery: Ronnie and Amanda’s Love Story

Amanda: 00:00:00

it can be done and you can do it together I think for us and for everybody that we talk to about stuff like this is that it can be done. it's not just a choice. It's a determination. And don't let them tell you that you can't do it because you can. And you can have everything that you want. Do you have to work for it? Absolutely. But it can be done and you can do it together.

Michi J: 00:00:38

Hello everyone. And welcome to a prisoner's pardon podcast. I'm Michi J your host. And I'm so happy to have you here I know I always say it's a special show, but you know what? It always is. Today I have a couple on. Their name is Amanda and Ronnie Woodo. Yes, a couple. I never thought I would have a couple on as well,

undefined: 00:01:03

but. I had to have these two on because they are successful business owners. Traveling the country together as a couple. It's an incredible love story, this story didn't begin this way. It began with recovery looking at what they're doing now, how successful they are. You would never think that they had to go through a recovery. Yes. Both of them was hooked on drugs. But now. They're not. The incredible thing is how they did it. Together.

Michi J: 00:01:40

I'm going to let them introduce themselves, and then we're going to get into

undefined: 00:01:43

They're

Michi J: 00:01:43

story, hi, Amanda. And hi, Ronnie.

Amanda: 00:01:47

Oh, hi. Good to be on the show.

Michi J: 00:01:50

Well, thank you so much. Okay. I want you to tell us, like, how did you two meet?

Amanda: 00:02:01

So we actually met through drugs, um, honestly, because, um, my ex husband and his ex wife were friends and we all were in the meth scene. And, um, I had separated from my husband, but was hanging out with friends of theirs still, and the circles just overlapped, right? So then we ended up, um, partying together. Yeah. And, uh, it kind of just went from there. And. Um, he and his wife ended up separating and divorcing and me and my husband ended up separating and divorcing and it just kind of, I don't know, I hate to say that it was meant to be through the addiction because that was not a great way to start it. But had we not both been in that scene, we would have never met.

Michi J: 00:02:56

True

Ronnie: 00:02:56

story.

Michi J: 00:02:57

Yes, you know what, that's fine to say, because a lot of couples meet under, less desirable circumstances, but they do meet, right? So you

Amanda: 00:03:08

know,

Michi J: 00:03:09

So what attracted you to,

Ronnie: 00:03:12

amanda is beautiful. So I was just instantly interested in her when I first met her.

Amanda: 00:03:19

And Ronnie's personality and humor is what attracted me to him at first. He's just, he's always happy and jovial and laughing. And it was nice to see that, whether it was drug induced or not, which by the way, it's not, cause he's still like that.

Michi J: 00:03:35

Well, good thing. Right. Absolutely. Now, what actually you, you met over drugs and what happened after that?

Amanda: 00:03:47

So we, well, actually I got in trouble on a few occasions shortly after we got together, uh, mostly misdemeanor possession type of things. and we're in Wyoming, so I don't know how the laws differ from, Wisconsin, but, um, Our department of family services is pretty tight with stuff like this. So we lost our, well, I lost my kids, Ronnie's kids weren't living with us at the time. Um, and we kind of went through the, the whole rehab and out of rehab and getting the kids back and being okay for a little while, and then right back into it again, and just like the cycle just kept continuing, you know, and this has been, you know, that was over. Well, I've done meth off and on since I was about 18, so I'm, you know, granted, it's been nine, 10 years now, but it was a good 25, almost 30 years. You know, it was a long time, not that it was always all the time. And I didn't lose the kids till early thirties probably for the first time, but I did lose the kids twice to this, you know? And so then there, like I said, it was a process. And so we would clean up and we'd go through rehab and we'd. Get the kids back and then we'd be good for a while and then we slippery slope down again and it was just like a, I was so tired of picking ourselves up out of rock bottom. It wasn't even funny.

Ronnie: 00:05:14

Amanda lived in Gillette since she was a child, like, which is northern Wyoming, by the way.

Amanda: 00:05:20

And

Ronnie: 00:05:21

I'm from Rapid City, South Dakota, South Dakota. And, uh, I moved up there to work in the oil field anyway. Um, so me and Amanda are the same age, but we didn't know each other from school or anything. Cause I moved up here when I was 18, I guess. But, uh, anyway, um, we decided to make a complete change and we moved, um, 150 miles away from that town just to get away from the people and everything surrounding that lifestyle, you know? Um, but, um,

Amanda: 00:05:57

You can find it wherever you're looking for. Yeah, which we find out got hung up on it again up here

Ronnie: 00:06:03

remove code

Michi J: 00:06:06

So What kind of drove you towards drugs in the first place? Was it because it was what everybody else was doing? What what kind of got you into that scene?

Ronnie: 00:06:17

For me, it was, uh, bikers, uh, banditos, because he grew

Amanda: 00:06:22

up right outside of Sturgis. So motorcycle rally type stuff. Yes. And for me, I grew up in the sheltered Christian home. Where I couldn't do anything. So that's what was kind of my outlet. Not that I got, you know, it was mostly pot back then until after my first divorce and then it was kind of the people I was hanging out with kind of experimental type stuff. And that's, that's one, once you start experimenting and you find, if you find it fun, it's a quick, Hey, let's do this more often. And then all of a sudden you're doing it all the time. So,

Michi J: 00:07:01

right. So was that like a slippery slope sort of deal? It kind of slipped up on you. Absolutely.

Amanda: 00:07:07

Every time we've gone back to it has been like that, which is why we know we can't even try it once now because we call it weekend warriors, right? So you pick a weekend, you're like, you know what, we should just do, you know, meth for the weekend and clean the house or just, you know, party and have fun. Well, in our area, it's not, it's readily available, but you have to know the right people and it doesn't always hit at the right time because we're not big city, we're rural small town, right? Right. So we would try to find it on a Friday night and it would be like Sunday morning when we'd finally get it and then you're up for 24 hours, which then puts you into the work week. And then, so then you're looking for more because you're tired because you've been up for the weekend, you know, and it just kind of all of a sudden perpetuated into instead of just an every once in a while weekend, you're doing it three quarters of the week and then you're doing it every day.

Michi J: 00:07:59

Oh, okay. So this is different. This is like looking at it in a small town way. Yes. And it's not as accessible and it kind of messed up your routine because you couldn't absolutely imagine you guys absolutely are funny. Okay. That's hilarious. Okay, so that's, that's good to know. And, you know, people are, you know, doing this and they need to hear this, and this is just what, what's going on? So yeah. And when you were doing it and you, you slipped up and how, how did you, you get out of that? You know, you, you just woke up and look, I'm tired of it.

Amanda: 00:08:38

What

Michi J: 00:08:38

happened?

Amanda: 00:08:39

This final time, or like the times before, before we went back into it, because they're different. So when we got in trouble earlier, the last time, uh,

Ronnie: 00:08:50

That we did it, um, it was, um, after the SWAT team busted down our door and pointed a laser sights at everybody and we went to jail.

Amanda: 00:09:04

But we were ready. So the other thing about where we're at is that, so we hit, we started dealing it because we were being ripped off by the people we were buying it from. But in order to do that, we had to drive to our nearest Large metropolitan city, which happens to be Denver, right? To acquire it, right? So now all of a sudden we're drug running and drug dealing. So that's where this kind of all tripped up. But on top of that, It was the, the quality back then. So we're talking nine and a half years ago when we got busted. So about 10 years ago, I would say we got to a point where we were, we were done. We were tired of doing it. We, it wasn't doing what we wanted it to do. It was garbage. It was expensive. You know, I mean, it was just, everything was going wrong. We couldn't keep jobs. It was just one thing after another. And we got to a point where we both looked at each other about six months before we got busted and we're like, Hey, We need to stop because this is crap. But the problem was is that we didn't have jobs except for, for dealing drugs. And so we couldn't get jobs cause we couldn't stay off the drugs long enough to get them. And, um, it just ended up being one of those things where we were ready to quit. We just didn't know how, and as we were deciding to quit. I had a medical bill, like a large one for a neck issue I had that went to collections and they started hitting our bank account, like right before rent was due. So we were like, okay, well we're done doing this. And then they took everything we had for rent. So we had nothing to provide for our family for. So we made one last trip to Denver to get more. And that was when we got busted. Well, that's it. Like two days afterwards, we got busted. So it was, I want to say it was a blessing in disguise because it was, it was a little bit more of a kick than what we were expecting. Yes.

Ronnie: 00:11:03

I wish I wish it could have happened with two less felonies.

Amanda: 00:11:08

Yeah. But either way, I mean, the end result was what we needed. So

Michi J: 00:11:16

for sure, for sure. So this is like. You're both you what you came into agreement together like, Hey, this is not for us. So you both were on board because normally I shouldn't say normally, but sometimes a lot you do see people where one wants to get off and the other one doesn't and you two were together on that as well. So how, how did this happen? It's just like, you, you nudged each other and like, I was already thinking that Amanda, I was just waiting for you to say that. What?

Amanda: 00:11:52

Yeah,

Ronnie: 00:11:52

it's getting older and tired of, you know,

Amanda: 00:11:55

it's

Ronnie: 00:11:55

kind of

Amanda: 00:11:56

wasting our lives on what? I mean, we were renting this like shoe box house for. There was crap, you know, and it was, we, we'd always kind of, we would peak and then we would valley and then we would fall off the planet and then we would peak and we would validate, it was just like, there were people our age that were, you know, had great careers and they were traveling and they had, you know, all this stuff that we wanted, right. And, and it wasn't, it wasn't just a drive. It was more of a, what are we doing? Yeah. So, but, but on, on top of that, really, really late. Yeah, really late. Really late. Because we were, you know, Yeah. Late for late thirties. Late thirties. But, uh, you know, and, and our kids were getting older too. That was the other thing. Our kids were watching what we were doing.

Michi J: 00:12:44

Mm-Hmm.

Amanda: 00:12:45

And we had grandkids coming because my son had already had Myra, right when we got busted. So we had our first granddaughter that was like a year old when we got busted. And it, I just, I didn't want. I didn't want, you know, I didn't want that. I didn't want the family. There was, it wasn't even necessarily a status thing. I just didn't want the, the grandkids and our kids to not want to be around us. And I didn't even want to be around us half the time. I mean, we were dumb.

Michi J: 00:13:16

That was, you know what, that I was going to ask about that. What about the kids? Did that kind of rob you? But you say, you know, you automatically went there. Thank you for that. The grandkids. So, you know, I kind of liking you guys to Bonnie and Clyde. So I don't think the great. We have five now. Oh, Congratulations about that. So that's good that you stopped when that first one came. Cause you would have had a lot of explaining to do. Well,

Amanda: 00:13:47

you know, I just wish we would have stopped before the kids came because they we've put our kids through way more than they should have ever had to go through. We, we really have now they've, they've mostly, mostly turned out to be really good people. You know, some of them still have a little ways to go, but you know, um, My son's been through Ronnie's my fourth husband. I'm his third wife. So

Ronnie: 00:14:10

together. We're lucky number seven

Amanda: 00:14:14

But you know, so I put my my son who is now he'll be 29 and in August and you know I put him through three failed marriages And, you know, the whole time pretty much drug addiction. When I was with his dad, it was mostly pot, you know, and I don't really consider that an addiction, it was just what we did at the time, you know, and then after that it was, you know, meth and coke and pretty much anything I could get my hands on. Not to mention a lot of alcohol back then, too. And not that I don't drink now, because I do. Um, but I'm very responsible about it now. Because we have driving jobs and whatnot. So, um, but, but it, you know, when the grandkids came, it kind of put a different twist to it because my son was basically like, Nope, we're not doing this, you know, and I'm, I'm extremely proud of him for that. He's tried it all. He used to have a problem with, um, well, he used to have anger issues too, but behavioral issues. But, um, but alcohol was his big thing and he doesn't even do that now. So,

Ronnie: 00:15:16

but, but he does do kratom and it's a problem for him.

Amanda: 00:15:20

Yeah, that's true. But it does keep him from drinking. So I guess there's that. And, you know, he's got a mine job, so, you know, he has a very, you know, he does, he does what he needs to do and he provides for his family and I couldn't be prouder of the two of them.

Ronnie: 00:15:33

He calls his mom all the time for advice about, uh,

Amanda: 00:15:37

about life, financial

Ronnie: 00:15:38

issues,

Amanda: 00:15:39

taxes, and car titles and just, you know, stuff like that. And I love it. I love the fact that I'm his go to, you know. That's

Michi J: 00:15:46

awesome. That's awesome. I'm so proud of both of you, um, in making, you know, looking at the kids and the grandkids and, watching those little eyes watching you and knowing that. Hmm. I don't want them to see that. So in making those changes, so that was when you two made those changes again, you said that was right when the grandkids were there. And one of the things that you did, you said you, you moved away.

Amanda: 00:16:17

Well, so we moved a couple of years before we quit. So we moved in moved in 2012, July, June, June of 2012. Like I said, about two hours away from quote unquote home. And started new and that lasted about a year before we got right back into it again, we got busted in March of 2015, and have not touched it since.

Michi J: 00:16:43

So why, why haven't you touched it since? Is it you didn't move again did you?

Amanda: 00:16:48

No, no, we got busted in this town.

Ronnie: 00:16:51

We thought we were done when we left and let, and then they fell into it again. And then after we got busted, I mean, that was,

Amanda: 00:16:57

well, we, like I said, we were, we already knew we were ready. We were ready to be done. And I think that that's the key for addiction. You, I don't care. How many people tell you you need to quit or force you into this or force you into that, you know, yes, going to jail helps because it makes you, you know, clean up for a while, but until you are ready, you are not going to quit, period. I don't, I don't care who it is. It has to be that ready to quit thing, which we both were, we just didn't know necessarily how, and then I ended up, you know, and I only spent like three weeks in jail. Ronnie had like two, but I had an eight to 10 year sentence over my head. That was the other thing. I didn't want to miss out on seeing the grandkids grow up and our kids graduate. We had at least one that hadn't graduated from high school yet, you know, and it was still pretty little and, you know, there was just all these things in life I didn't want to miss out on because I was sitting in prison somewhere.

Michi J: 00:17:55

So, I would like, rationalize this to be something like, it's, it's love.

Amanda: 00:18:01

It is. For each other, for ourselves, for our kids, for our grandkids, for a better life. And, and you know what? And we have that now. And now we're switching gears again, but because we had, we got what we wanted and now we want something different. You know what I mean?

Michi J: 00:18:19

Ronnie, you are about to say something.

Ronnie: 00:18:23

I don't recall.

Michi J: 00:18:26

Okay. I'm sorry about that, Ronnie. Um, yeah. So I like what you said, Amanda, that you have to be ready and people, it depends on the person, what makes them ready for you, you too. It was the grandkids. You were paying attention to what they were paying attention to. So that's, really significant. So after you're ready, then the necessary steps was it hard to do did you feel, some sort of pressure after you, you were ready, but you still had to make some changes. Everybody does like you, make some small changes. Of course, you weren't hanging around and you weren't, you know,

Amanda: 00:19:10

we severed ties with everybody except for, um, my best friend who happened to be one of the people we used to party with. Um, but they were extremely respectful in the fact that we said, do not bring it over and do not come around if you're on it, period. And we had to do that for a really long time. Nowadays, it's not as big of a deal for us because we're, we're comfortable in. Being clean, so we could be around it and not be tempted by it now, but for a good probably four or five years, it was like, nope, and if we showed up anywhere where it was happening, we just left, we had to, because we know we can't do that one time without it becoming an issue again. And we have too much to lose now. I mean, we have, we have a nice house and we've got great jobs and we just bought an RV and are hopefully semi retiring in four years.

Ronnie: 00:20:04

It's not an RV, but it's a motor coach.

Amanda: 00:20:09

What's the difference? We have a huge 39 foot bus, basically. Like one of the really big, it looks like a tour bus, basically.

Michi J: 00:20:17

Wow.

Amanda: 00:20:18

So, and you know, I never in a million years would have dreamt that we could have gotten to where we are now. In like nine, 10 short years, really,

Michi J: 00:20:28

from where

Amanda: 00:20:28

we started. Yeah, 10 short years. We've got retirement. We've got, you know, we have awesome, awesome, we've got great credit scores. We've got brand new cars. We have four wheelers and motorcycles and we take vacations and, you know, it was everything we wanted. We just took a long time to get here.

Michi J: 00:20:51

Well, 10 years is not that long compared, you know, looking at how much you accumulated.

Amanda: 00:20:57

Oh, absolutely. I, I could have never dreamed we could have done it in 10 years for sure. But we've worked

Ronnie: 00:21:03

to do it. Our next step is going to be also for, The grandkids and ourselves. Um, we're going to early retire and that's kind of what the bus is for. Um, but so that we can visit family and grandkids and things that we don't have time for right now because we work way too much. We do work a lot. We work a lot.

Amanda: 00:21:23

And they're growing up without us because we work too much now instead of, you know. Do drugs all the time. So,

Michi J: 00:21:30

well,

Amanda: 00:21:30

yeah,

Michi J: 00:21:32

it's a big difference. You went from very, unproductive lives to very productive lives. And now you're transitioning to where you want to make sure you're in. Even more productive because you're, you're looking at your grandkids and you want to, establish relationships, better relationships with them because you realize the importance of that. Am I getting that right?

Amanda: 00:21:56

Absolutely. Absolutely. Because, you know, well, our oldest granddaughter just turned 10. She, she plays soccer and she's. Fantastic at it. And they travel and she plays soccer games all over Utah. And it's, I, I've gotten to see one practice. She's played for four years and I've got to see one practice. I have yet to see a game because she's too far away. And we have like 36 hours off on a weekend, except for the one week a year, we get off together because that's all we get off together. Right now.

Michi J: 00:22:28

Okay. All right. So you two, it just looks like in, you know, I was around you to you to have an awesome relationship. You're laughing, you're talking together, you're engaging. I mean, I, I do call you guys, Bonnie and Clyde. You all are so well matched, you know, so well matched. And it's really hopeful with someone that probably been through some relationships that didn't work out. And, and now, you know, You know, giving them the hope that they can get to that place where they do have that individual. So I do applaud you be, you know, being together because like I said, you got couples that fall apart under the. Way less of pressure than you guys did having SWAT teams come into the house and stuff like

Amanda: 00:23:13

that. You've had relationships fall apart for way less than that too. And the other thing was, is when we went through treatment, they almost didn't let us do it together. Because, because of the fact that most of the time one or the other of the couple will fall off the wagon and then it takes the other one with.

Michi J: 00:23:32

Right.

Amanda: 00:23:33

So a lot of times they separate them.

Michi J: 00:23:36

So how

Amanda: 00:23:37

did you

Michi J: 00:23:38

get them to let you do it together?

Amanda: 00:23:41

We, uh, pled with them. We said, Hey, you know, we need to do this. You know, this is something we need to do together. Um, we're both all in and if it's going to work, it's going to work. And if it's not, it's not. But then they gave us a shot. They also told us that if it wasn't going to work, they would separate us out after that. But, you know, they w they didn't want us to, at first they almost, they've tried to make us separate completely. They tried to make us live in separate houses. Yeah.

Ronnie: 00:24:08

My judge,

Amanda: 00:24:09

my judge tried to do that twice. Um, you know, tried to make us. Before we were married, when I got in trouble, they tried to, to separate us, we were, um, engaged and they're like, no, you need to, you know, break up with him and I'm like, we're engaged. It's not going to happen. Sorry. And then this last time when, you know, we'd been married for years and years and years. Say what's our,

Ronnie: 00:24:31

what's our anniversary is here.

Amanda: 00:24:34

What do you mean what's our anniversary? What number? You don't know what number is? I

Ronnie: 00:24:37

can't think of it right now.

Amanda: 00:24:38

Twelve. Twelve. We've been married 12 years as of end of July,

Michi J: 00:24:46

we've

Amanda: 00:24:46

been together for 17.

Michi J: 00:24:48

Wow. This is an incredible story. I really, that, that is what I was talking about. It's very unusual. It's usually one day fall off and the other one,, want to stay, you know, so it's like, but I'm glad to hear that it is possible. It is possible. Together. And it just depends on the people. So, and, and they gave you a shot. So I hope, people are listening to this then to understand that family does need to, if at all possible, keep them together. So

Amanda: 00:25:22

definitely, Oh, that was just give the hope and give the extra chances because it's not like my biggest thing was I was, when we left Gillette. I had had the kids taken away twice, and then this third time, when they, Gillette DFS, Department of Family Services, told me this is your last chance. If she goes away again, it was my youngest at that time, because my oldest was Old enough to go with his dad at that point. Um, and my, our youngest is autistic, so it was a different kind of case. Um, but they're like, if, if they take her away again, she's gone. So when we got busted with our felonies, I immediately was freaked out because I thought we were done. I thought she was gone for good. And that they were going to place her in some foster care, you know, she'd end up being part of the system and I, it was not going to be okay one way or another, but I tell you what, the biggest thing for me with that too, was that the DFS system in where we live now worked with us immediately and they're like, we're not trying to take her away where we live now,

Ronnie: 00:26:28

where we moved from, they were, they were the ones that said, uh, it's over

Amanda: 00:26:32

Like made this jump through hoops for years and gave her back finally. Here where we're at now, it was like four or five months, and we did everything we were supposed to, you know, we were daily UAing, and everything was good, and we were going to classes, and we were doing everything we were supposed to, and we had her back in like four or five months, and they're like, no, we're planning on reuniting, because I had given up hope as soon as I went to jail, because I thought, our daughter's gone, she's gone, I'm, you know, I'm never gonna see her again. And just, I think that hope, hope and ambition and something to work for

Ronnie: 00:27:10

that day, a lot of them,

Amanda: 00:27:12

they allowed us because it was, you know, I, I really was at the point where I was like, we're just, we're just done, we're just done, we had to be done.

Michi J: 00:27:22

So that's good that, um, I'm just gonna say that alluded to forgiveness and them giving you chances. guys. To rectify that situation, so we do need to have that compassion for people to give them chances, of course, protecting them and the kids at the same time, of course, but also allowing. Or that family to be reestablished. And so many times, like you said, department of family services, some of them, they do work to, they have like the wrong mission is to take the kids. And when they should be looking at how we can keep the kids with you, that's a whole different perspective. And that means you'll be doing things a lot differently. So that is just a miracle. You guys, that's, that is a miracle that you were able to get the kids back because normally DFS is, it's the entity unto themselves and they have different rules. It's a whole nother court system. So

Amanda: 00:28:26

it definitely is,

Michi J: 00:28:27

definitely is definitely different from the criminal justice system. They have their own system and we do really need to bring them to have the some standards and keep it like. Not just, you can do this over here and then you go to the next county and it's different. So then we're

Amanda: 00:28:43

at now that we were fortunate to the fact that they have funding that helped us. They, they put us through rehab and they paid for stuff like that, where it was, you know, when we were unemployed and straight out of jail, we didn't have to try to figure out how to pay for everything on top of all of that. So they provided treatment for us.

Michi J: 00:29:06

That is not done in a lot of places.

Amanda: 00:29:11

Like I said, small town, small town, which I guess is the fortunate part of that.

Ronnie: 00:29:15

He says it's a small town, but this is the second largest city in our state.

Michi J: 00:29:21

Well, we're going to be wrapping this up now, but what is the main thing you want the audience to take away from this conversation? Both you and Ronnie, you can say two different things, or you can do it together. Whichever you like.

Ronnie: 00:29:37

Buy a motorcycle.

Amanda: 00:29:41

No, I think for, for us and for everybody that we talk to about stuff like this is that it can be done. You know, it's not just it's not just a choice. It's a determination. And don't let them tell you that you can't do it because you can. And you can have everything that you want. Do you have to work for it? Absolutely. But it can be done and you can do it together.

Michi J: 00:30:04

Together. I like that. Together. Together. You can do it together.

Ronnie: 00:30:08

Okay,

Michi J: 00:30:12

well, thank you so much. Amanda and Ronnie, this was a pleasure and you are my Bonnie and Clyde. I really thank you for coming on and sharing your experience and sharing with the audience how to stick together. I say, not just through beauty, because yes, Amanda is very beautiful. Ronnie is very funny as well. So it's, you need those things and beauty is from the inside out humor. Everybody needs humor. So.

Amanda: 00:30:44

That's true.

Michi J: 00:30:45

All right. Well, thank you all. You all have a blessed evening and thank you for being on the show again and again. I thank you again and again. So that's all. Oh, wow. Yes. It was a pleasure. So

Ronnie: 00:31:00

I was going to say thank you for the opportunity also. And this was fun.

Michi J: 00:31:05

Thank you. Well, that's it, everyone. Thank you for listening and may you have a week filled with blessings.