E69 – Freshly Out: Adapting to Freedom with Guest Jarvis Green

Today. We have a special guest. Yes. We always have a special guest, but I'm pretty sure you're going to love to hear from this guest. His name is Jarvis Green and he's just come home and he is out of Illinois and he is my cousin. So hi cuz. Hey cuz good to see you. Yeah, it is so good. He is He is freshly out how long have you been out gyrus Oh, it'll be a month on Thursday, a month on Thursday, and that went by fast, right? I know it was like, wow, he, he contacted me and he's been out. I'm like, Oh, this is so awesome. I got to get you on the show to, uh, introduce you to everyone because I want everyone to, get the experience of what it means to freshly come out and this is what we're going to be talking about today. The challenges when someone. Comes out of prison, what are they thinking about mentally? What are they thinking about emotionally? So Jarvis is, has been so kind to come on to explain and just to be transparent about what, what it is to me to come home. So Jarvis, uh, why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself so the audience gets to know you. Um, I'm 41 years old from Chicago. I grew up on the west side. Um, I've been through a lot, you know, I've seen a lot of stuff in the streets, you know, um, growing up in Chicago and, you know, I started my life of crime, you could say pretty much early in life and, um, it's like a snowball effect, you know, just kept kept continuing to go. But, you know, I'm involved in Um, yeah. And I'm older, more mature, and I'm just trying to, make sure I stay on the right path this time. Oh, wow. I'm so proud of you for this. So how long were you in this last time? This last time, I just did five years. Okay. And how much time, how much time have you done all together? I'll say all together, I've probably done 18 years in jail. Okay. So tell us what, you know, a month ago, what happened? Like, why'd you, let's just start when you was walking out the prison, you know, you're getting out those doors and stuff. What was that feeling? It was surreal. It's like, it's almost like a dream, like a movie, you know, I'm going to wake up and still be in there. Oh, wow. Okay. That's how it felt for me. Did you sleep that night before or what happened? What did you stay up all night or? No, I actually went to sleep probably about 11 o'clock, but I woke up, um, about three, three in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep after that. Okay. So you had all your stuff packed up and you sitting there and waiting like, uh, I hope they not changing their mind. I don't want to hear nothing. Yeah. That's what's going through your mind. Is this a mistake or what? Oh, wow. Okay. So how do you. Yeah, how so tell us just walk us through it a little bit to give us like, you know, Uh, how was it who picked you up? How did you get home? Uh, when you first saw the outside, what did you see first? Did you go to mcdonald's or something? I don't know. Did you go through the drive thru and eat something? What was it? Uh when I got out, um, I seen my brother in law. He came in He helped me carry my box out and um, you know First thing I noticed was the cars the parking lot seeing my sister And, um, when I got in the car, though, I can't lie. Like on the ride back, I was just feeling real queasy. I don't know if it was motion sickness from not being in the car so long or what, but it was, it was crazy. I think I've heard that before. Motion sickness. Yeah. so how did your brother in law like, was he acting out like emotional too, or what was that about? Yeah, he was happy, happy to see me come home. Did you, eat at a restaurant or did they cook for you? Um, we stopped and the first thing I actually ate was like some pizza from a gas station, believe it or not. Gas station people like you always eat the weirdest stuff when you come out, you never eat what you. I think you go to eat first. Oh, so you'd be planning that? What you gonna eat first before you get out? Yeah, a lot of people do. They talk about what they're gonna eat their first day out and all this stuff. I don't never go like that. Oh, okay. That's awesome. So, what was that adjustment like? Um, I know that motion sickness, did you get any other kind of queasy feeling like, what is this? what were some of the things that was new to you that you weren't expecting? I want to say just, um, you know, the, the feelings and all, uh, you know, the thoughts and everything that was running through my head, like I say, it was, I hadn't been going that long before. So everything felt like surreal to me. It felt like, you know, like I was in a dream state almost. And, um, yeah, it was just. There's so much going on in those excitements, like some of everything, excitement, fear, fear, run through you. Um, you know, you hope all the dreams you've been having, you know, all these things start colliding at once and you know, it's real now and you know, anxiety, stress, whatever it is, it's just like a whirlwind. Of different, you know, emotions, good and bad. Many of us, we can only just kind of imagine it. And if we've been around anybody that's come out of prison, it can be different and it's good to see it through fresh eyes. It's like, oh, yeah, that is kind of different, isn't it? Because we've gotten so accustomed to it. And now to hear someone talk about what is that? It's oh, that's this. And, yeah. So motion sickness. I've heard, Where things like, not so much what people wearing, because I know you all can watch TV and stuff and you keep, abreast of the fashions and stuff, but, I know the cars change. And I know now is so with the, I don't know if they had push buttons before, but it's a lot of more automated stuff going on now, like AI, That's interesting. Even for us still, that's getting used to it. So we can understand that. So what are, what are some of the fears that you, experienced just knowing, you know, you, you're getting out and you got all this freedom, you know, and it's all this temptation is so much you can do. Um, and then the fact that, you know, when you're trying to, you know, spiritually, mostly mentally and physically, you know, and, um, and you don't want to like drinking drug no more. And, um, you're trying to build new friends and because all the old friends are like, that's the stuff they into, you know, they into the drugs and the drinking and the women, you know, when the. The file, you know, all the things that you you've been thinking about getting away from all that time and, um, you know, it's scary because you got to try to, you know, change the people's faces and things in your life and get out your comfort zone. So I think for me, that was. That's the fear that, you know, that keeps me on my toes right now, knowing that I got to make those, those type of change. I like how you put that, um, that fear is good cause it keeps you, alert, like you said, uh, on your toes and understanding that it could, he could very well go that way. And what, what are some of the things that you do to stay away from the friends? I just, um, Well, the first thing I did was, you know, stop getting out and hopping straight on social media and friending everybody I knew. So now I kind of just, I'm real selective about who I have in my circle. So, you know, there, there are a few that, you know, we have a deep tight bond and, you know, they may smoke, drink a little, but you know, they, um, they not in the streets no more. They work and they marry. Um, stuff like that. So I, I try to lean more towards people that's going to support me in this change and not going to pressure me to, you know, do anything like that. People I know that got my back, you know, even when I'm down and you know, the difference. Yeah. Yeah. It's not hard to tell the difference between those. That's awesome. I didn't, I forgot about that. How a lot of, um, like, um, jump on social media and like, cause they still like, you probably still had your account too, right? Like from social media. Yeah. Yep. Okay, because I've seen accounts and people like aren't they locked up and it'll come through your feet. So Okay, so I was wondering how so many people how your friends so many of them would know quickly if unless they're family Sometimes it's family. You can't be there. So it's not just Family friends word of mouth, you know The whole combination. Wow. And I understand why they would miss you and stuff and want to say hi and all that stuff. And then, I don't know how they would feel if, you don't want to hang around anymore. how would you handle that if like, Hey, I want to hang out and you say, well, you know. I'm not sure. I don't think I can, because, you know, you could just be in their car and stuff, and they have some something in there. And if they get stopped, that's so easily to get caught up in. You can't even ride around with everybody. It's like everybody got concealed cameras for guns now and all types of stuff. Yeah. Um, yeah, I had some crazy happened to me already. And I was like, Lord, you know, like I said, this one friend, he's not really. You know, he lives in Indiana. So that type of stuff is, you know, he's illegal to sit the camera. I'm the felon, but I told him like, Hey, I can't, I can't be around it. You know, yeah, that's interesting. I think about that when you're, when you're legally caring, but now that's something to think about for people who do have those licenses and being around friends and, you know, that may come out and understanding that you cannot carry when you're around them. Okay. So that is hard to do. And you've already had to have those talks. How so how did he receive that? he kept kept saying, um, he kept putting it on himself saying, you know, I'm legit, I'm straight. I can tell I know that but um, I can't be around it. So like, you could have told me before. I got to call you anything was going on like, so that was that was kind of first test for me right there. See how it's going to react. So hopefully you got that resolved. So yeah, so if you're inside or right now, you got to think about these sort of things in the conversations. How would you handle the conversation? Because you don't want to alienate people, but you still have to make conscious decisions. So, how has it been for the job? I know you've been looking for a job I'm still ain't working yet. Can't lie to you, but I mean, I've been, I've been looking hard. I've been to the temp companies, you know, filling out with them, talking to them. Um, I've been asking friends. I've been trying to get in contact with employment agencies. So I've been I've been asking and I've been looking but you know It's just one of those times where it seemed like it's not gonna come as fast as I want it But I mean, I'm just gonna stay patient and stay focused. I know something got it to come eventually Mm hmm. Exactly patient and focus that is a great thing to have and I was just thinking about cuz I actually Mentor with a program here called partners and hope if you've been a part of my audience before you know a lot about partners and hope and what they do is they do a large mentoring program, as well as, you know, work with the community and making sure, people that's coming out, get jobs and get paid. Connected to mentors and get resources they need. I know that it can be done over state lines. So I would definitely check in and out for you because they have a lot of resources. So I will get back to you on that. So people understand if you need a mentor, which everybody needs 1, I think, because everybody needs help. And everybody needs to be connected. So I'll get back to you with that because cool, cool. Yeah. So, yeah, the, these men will definitely help you get adjusted and get you. Um, into some type of employment and I love that you've went through temp agencies too because Some people don't even think about they forget about the temp agencies. That's good. All right So what else been going on for you there? Oh, nothing much. It's that i'm going to church with a friend, you know trying to Establish that those habits right there. Um, you know, just I stand prayed up. Yeah, that positive. That's awesome. Let's do are really on top of it. Okay. You talked about not being involved with, you know, just being careful about social media. You've started making contact with some sort of types of employment, trying to get that together. And you. Trying to plug yourself into, I believe, a support organization. A church is one of the best there. Yes. Yeah. So, okay. Did you stand up when they say, are any visitors here? Uh, they, they actually ain't have that, you know, um, it ain't like one of the, you know, the Baptist churches and all that, but I think they did say something like that, but this, uh, this church is kind of big. Oh, it's big. So it's probably you can probably blend in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I got it. So how was that to be in a formal setting like that with all those people? Man, it felt it felt good. Like they was worshiping and singing and I felt like it was a bunch of angels around me saying, man, it was It was good to be in that atmosphere. You know what, with that positivity and that love and that joy felt good. That's good. I like how you, you're feeding on that, that positive energy because definitely needed as you work through the obstacles of finding a job. And I love that you said just being patient, cause it will come because it doesn't come as fast as you, you want, but it will come. So don't give up on that. So where else have you been? Have you been to any shopping centers or any kind of other family functions? What do or do you still need to be at home for a while and then make adjustments before you go out? Well, I left the joint on GPS. That's the ankle monitor. So my time is limited. I'm out like nine and nine right now. But um, we've had a couple of family events. When I first came home, um, my sister invited everybody to a hall and we had drinks, food, playing cards. Well, I didn't have drinks, but you know, they had some, um, um, no playing cards and just chopped it up and stuff like that. Um, but. I haven't really been, you know, doing, not doing too much, you know, but, um, basically in the house, I moved to a new area, so I don't know nobody, know nobody out this way. So I pretty much spend a lot of time by myself, you know, if I'm not, um, with my friend. Okay. That's awesome. Again, thank you for being on the show. Cause many men or, women eat as well. When they first come out, they don't want to talk about anything. They don't want to come on the show. And I'm just like, wow, you Come on. Like you are just kicking. Actually, but you just, I know you're going to make it because there's so many things I've been seeing that you've been doing. Like for instance, you are in the process of writing a book. Could you tell us about that? Yes, I am. I'm writing a book, as you know, called, um, spirit lab, man. Um, I'm working on finishing out the third chapter. It's probably not going to be too long of a book, but, um, I think it's gonna be good. Just some of my insights on How I've helped myself develop spiritually and mentally, you know, some of the things I've learned to read and I'm just trying to share that experience with people and in the best form I can, you know, my act of service. So that's what I'm doing. I'm excited about it too. You should be. I gotta get it done. I gotta get it done. That is, that is awesome. So, Okay, thinking about your spirit, man, as someone, I would believe part of your audience would be someone that's been incarcerated before and coming out and how to, to regroup and stuff. So what would be some of the main things you would want them to get from your book? Like what you've getting out of being spirit land I just want people to understand that you know Imitating the life of Christ, you know Christian values, you know the things he went through We all go through in some some shape or form maybe not on the mass level he had to do it but No, we all struggle with, you know, family members not having faith in you, you know, being persecuted, even when you ain't doing that wrong, you know, when you're trying to do your best. I just want people to be able to get some sound principles and understand, these hardships and be able to build some positive energies to overcome, the negative forces when they come, cause they, they do come. I've felt them already, but, Like I said, I'm just trying to stay prayed up and, you know, stay in, stay centered and stay in that zone. And, keep praying to God and asking Jesus to, help clear that up for me. Mm hmm. Because I like that because that's really pertinent because what you said that maybe you have some people that may not have as much faith in you and how do you overcome that? I think that's a big one, for people coming out. In reconciling those relationships you said you've written a few chapters and are you liking what is shaping out to be and how it's, Going to help men coming out. And I believe it's going to help men that's already out. Is it, it's just for men, right? Is it just for men or is it for women as well? I mean, if you, you know, a Christian and you studied the Bible, I think you're going to like, you know, because I use a lot of scriptural references to, um, kind of, Bring out my points and make, make certain connections. Um, so I, I think anybody that, that's a avid reader of the Bible, you know, a student of the Bible, they're going to be able to make those connections instantly, and it's going to be men and women. I think if you pick it up to read it, it's going to have some interest for you. Hmm. That's good. All right. So I really like it. it's not just my opinion, but. It's so many people that label themselves as Christians, but in theory, but don't know how to do it in practice so Breaking it down and giving them those Practical steps and how it looks I think it's gonna be really effective especially coming from a person who's living it and not just in Bible theory and Um, and it has practices as well, because, you know, if you read scripture, it has, accounts of people, what they had to go through, but now with you bringing it in in modern day things, what they will see, I believe is going to help them get through it. I look at it as a better translation. Yeah, that's a more modern understanding. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That's good. So when do you, I know we're, we're working together on that and I know we're going to have a first manual, a first draft done by the first of the year. So I'm hoping you're done by within a year and. And I would want you back on the show once it's published and just,, encouraging people, to see what you've done. Cause you're coming fresh out. We have people that want to write books and they've been, they have never been in prison. They have. these obstacles they have, and you know, everybody have them, but, and I want you to, you know, actually document all that because this is awesome what you're doing. So the nation is real. Okay. Did you tell your, your family that you're writing? What are, what are they thinking about that? I told my mom, my friend about, about the boat. I don't know if I ever told too many people. It's just something I really just keep mainly to myself. And just trying to focus like that. that's a good thing too, and keeping focused, that means like, just you know, keeping your eye on the prize, so to speak, getting it done, and you say, they'll find out once it's done, and they can just buy your book, and support, and just hear about. What to do. So, okay. One thing I want to ask is the spirit led book. Are you actually putting current events in as well? Like as you walk through this process of re entering society and doing it like that? Yeah, I'm using my own, um, you know, I, I teach and through my experiences, you know, with, with emotions. So I'm using a lot of I'm using some of my own experiences, some of the times I felt like, you know, Jesus and God was working through me for the, for the betterment of somebody else. And I'm using, you know, the examples of the life of Christ and, you know, other, um, people in the Bible, you know, that stories relate to the particular subject I'm discussing at the time. So it's a, it's a mixture. Okay. Yeah. Cause I think it'll be really quite interesting too to, To relate the experience of you first coming out and how do you be spirit led through this process? Yes. What's going on? Now, how can we do the same thing, what you're going through and be spirit led? Because it can be scary. Yeah, I think, um, the best advice I can give anybody on that subject is to, um, try to be as honest with yourself about who you are, your strengths and your weaknesses, and kind of tailor your practices towards, you know, because we, we, even though we all create equal, um, We all express to me, um, an aspect of God in a different way. So for me, you know, I'm, I'm more into meditative practices and, you know, and, um, you know, I try to do like stretches and yogas and, you know, things like that, mantras and prayers, you know, I like have a combination of things throughout my studies that puts me more in tune, trying to tap into the spirit In the best way that fits you, you know, knowing that, you know, I, like I said, I come from a Christian background, a Bible background. So, you know, I'm rooted. And it teaches the Christ and being his disciple, you know, and I just use any tool put at my disposal to make that walk more better and more real, you know, and be able to connect as quick as I can to God, you know, for me, that that looks different than most Christians, even though I won't neglect trying to go to church, but, I may meditate. I may, you know, just spend time in quiet trying to hear his voice in the silence, That's a different because you got so many people that cannot sit still in silence. And you can't hear his voice with all the noise in the chat or you got to clear it out. You have to, or you ain't going to hear nothing but your own thoughts and them, them nasty thoughts. Cause you know, the way people think in the world now is polluted. It's like a, a sewer, you know, and these are our spiritual things. You know, that's what Paul always say. You know, we don't fight flesh and blood. We fight spiritual things. And to me, thoughts are, that's a whole higher realm, you know, that's a, a spiritual realm. So you got to try to just be still and quiet your mind and, and just try to listen to that. That inner voice that that divine goddess, you know, yeah, I think that's when You're gathering that strength and you're taking the time to stop everything else and, just sit and listen. That is huge. And it make it's making more and more sense. Why you're having such big strides that I see that you're doing. You've made so many good points. You talked about plugging into a good church. Staying focused, not jumping on social media, having conversations that talk about why you can't do certain things with people and getting them to understand that you can't be around those things that they think is normal and it's. Awesome. I, I see so much what you're going to be doing in this book. I believe it's going to be really, really good because it's all, it's fresh. It's really fresh. And when you were, I know you were thinking about this when you were locked up and everything. just give us a brief story of like when you started thinking about, cool. Okay. I know better. That's not who I am. I have this connection, but I fell off And then it's a fast pace at that time. It's dominoes at that point. So when did you start thinking about, okay, I need to sit back now? I know that's not me. What, what, what were you thinking for me? It was, okay. From the day I got locked up, like, you know, to me, my life was just spiraling out of control again. And, um, you know, from the moment I got locked up, like, I knew, like, something was going to be different this time. Because, you know, like I say, I try to learn from my, um, from my experience, you know. And I had made great strides, but that was just the beginning. Some weaknesses that you just, you know, you can't see until you trying to do better, you know, so I tell a lot of, a lot of people like when you, when you trying to live a new life or do something, you know, you, you, you fall down. It's like trying to learn how to walk. So I have been making these strides, um, for years and kept falling down, but I, you know, I get back up and, um, from the day I got locked up, I just started working again and started, you know, getting my life back. And, you know, God gave me some more tools, some more skills to be able to, um, withstand what I had coming next. You know, and it all just come through our trials and tribulations. You know, I don't believe in failure. So I believe that he's the things that make us to, you know, the good and the bad. So I just embrace Everything about life and everything. Okay. I like that. I can't remember the saying. I just saw it says files are just Opportunities to succeed or something like the tools you need to succeed Exactly. Yeah, so it's the way you think about it and I like that you Thought about it positively that way because you can also think about it the other way and go the other way And go the wrong way. So it's just all in how you look at Um this and if you look at it as an opportunity Then you're you're going in the right direction and you're going to be I believe stronger because you're going to have You have more you're going to have more evidence. You're gonna like I like how you say you the tools He was giving you tools You so now you know what it was and now you can speak to it and because these tools other people can use, especially when they're, they're in those positions. So, um, I know you believe in the enemy, what are some of the things you think about him, about what he's trying to do, especially in your own life. You know, he works, he works through the, call him the spirit of his age or the spirit of the air. You know, he, he's in all the frequencies, the TVs, the movies, you know, he, you know, Hollywood is the heart center of America, like the soul center of all the ideas and you know, the, the creative, creative things come from, and you know, it's so corrupt. So, you know, he, likes to work through subtle things, you know, images and Music, you know, in media, you know, and he works through some of these leaders. I mean, you see what's going on out here in the world. People are godless right now, you know, so it's an indication of the time we're living in and who Who trying to get some power, right? Right. I think your book is on time. And I'm hoping you touching on that them images and media and those other those influences that People will look to and not understanding that they're being influenced. Yeah. So, okay. that's it. What I have for you today. I wanted to just, quickly, introduce you to the audience and make sure that they remember who you are because you're coming back with your book and tell us more about that. So, is there any thing you want to say to someone that's coming out or someone that's out or, just to give them more information on. Life and just how this works for you anything like that? You want to say? Yeah, just if you know, if you know anybody, just get out, just kind words, you know, words of encouragement are always going to be the best. And you know, if you coming out. I know we hear this, this cliche all the time, people, places, and things, but those are gonna be the three keys to change, you know, the people you hang with, you know, the places you frequent, and the things you do, you know, and if you can, um, find a way to find your patterns in life, like those things you repeat, those places you go, and those things you do that you've been doing over and over, you can break those habits, then you can, you can definitely break the cycle. You know, that's the best bet I can give to anybody and try to find you a, you know, a good church home and read your Bible, anything positive you can get your hands on. Right. And they're going to get to need to get their hands on your book as well once you get that out. So I like that you talked about, I will, I will call them nouns, people, places, and things. Remember your nouns. Okay. I like that. And that's easy to remember. So I thank you for making it simple, because it is simple, but it's not necessarily easy, but you can find that help to get through it. So everyone, I just wanted to thank you for listening. Thank you Jarvis for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure. So everyone, thank you again for listening and may you have a week filled with blessings.

Well, that's it. And thank you for listening and have a week filled with blessings.